On The Food Grapevine: The Non-Crescent Croissant

This tiny little column is going to be a rant about some news that reached me last week.

A croissant as it should be made (left) and a croissant as 75% of Tescos customers want them made (right).

A croissant as it should be made (left) and a croissant as 75% of Tescos customers want them made (right).

Ever since I heard that these so-called “straight croissants” exist, I have been fuming. Absolutely seething. A straight croissant, indeed. Well first of all, it is no longer a croissant if it is straight — croissant is French for crescent, after all.

Secondly, I have since learned that the supermarket kingpins in this country, such as Tesco, are only selling these straight pastries, as 75% of British customers find it too difficult to spread jam or other such products on the true, curved versions. If anything, it really is a testament to how uncultured, stupid and/or we have become in this country.

This lacklustre and bastardisation of one of the most famous French exports is what I will call a plat if nobody else will, one of the many French words meaning straight. Tesco does not sell croissants any more – they sell plats. Let the British public have them; I’ll be making my own from scratch in that case – curved as they should be!

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